Three English girls walk into a bar… many, many bars, in fact. In Malia, Crete. How to Have Sex is the ironically titled feature debut from director Molly Manning Walker. Mia McKenna-Bruce does a star turn as Tara, hoping to lose her virginity on a “Best holiday ever!” with her two best mates, against the looming backdrop of soon-to-be released A-level exam results. Remarkably, Walker is able to color this story richly with absolutely no nudity.

Tonight (once again, he says, puffing up his feathers) we were transported to another world, via the magic of cinema. This is why I do this.